Isn't football exciting! Two teams vying for every ounce of the ol' pigskin glory and a chance to call yourself a world champion in front of an admiring public! It is so easy to get swept up in the excitement of it all. People who don't watch football during the regular season will tune in to see the game, the entertainment, and the premiering commercials and have a daylong indoor athletic orgasm from the sensory over- stimulation. Unless you're me.
The only time I ever really catch up on what happens in football is when some fumduck starts a fight or opens fire in a nightclub because he has that narcissistic streak of entitlement because he can run real fast or catch or throw. The NFL looks more like the general population play yard at the state pen these days.
Seriously, every game I have ever watched looks like this - fat guy on sidelines with headset has furrowed brow; the tension is set - drama builds and is released when the big guy on the field throws the ball and someone dressed like him runs with it, gets knocked down. Repeat for 3 hours. Camera will occasionally scan the stands to focus on the screaming, painted, mental midgets jerking themselves off in a collection of sheeplike chaos.
I just don't get it - unless your little brother or a friend is out there making the plays, a person has no reason to get that excited. Its not even about community pride - how many of those players live in the cities their jerseys represent? Usually the only time they spend in the state they play for is in the prison because they tried to board a plane with an illicit substance or weapon. I would seriously like to know why people get that wound up about what someone else accomplishes.
Here's a rough, albeit accurate assessment of football: Big dudes playing full contact in lycra pants trying to penetrate each other's end zone. Let's get a group of guys together to watch that while getting more obese drinking beer and eating Doritos - sounds pretty cool.
Til next time.
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